CHAPTER 4 - I'LL LOOK AFTER YOU.
stiil at Travis and
Terrence hotel room
I was shocked alright, but not because of Travis having a son already. Its because I didn't expect to meet them here. I'm not ready right now.
Truth is, I already met Terrence before. I even live with them when I was 21, the time Krisha left already, the time my brother was still living with Mom and Dad at the States, the time I was in my most depressed stage, the time I was alone, literally.
I live with them for a month because I wanted to be rebellious. But it turn out to be the most wonderful month of my life. That time, I was sure I was really am in love with Travis. Everyday, I see him, talk to him, eat with him and sleep at the same house with him. It was so amazing I felt like I was in a fairytale. But then again, fairy-tale's were not real, so my fantasy had to stop too. The mother of Terrence, Stephanie, found out that Travis was keeping Terrence, she didn't know because she was on a trip somewhere in South America with his boyfriend, and so she left Terrence with her parents, and Travis grab the opportunity to spend the time with Terrence.
But after a three week vacation, she got home finally, and found out about his son. And to make things worst, she saw me living with them, so she got really mad and created a scandal outside Travis house. Her parents came immediately that time and calm her down.
They apologize for everything and left with Terrence.
I got depressed again because of that, because for three weeks, I treat Terrence like my baby brother. and it feels like everyone is leaving me. Travis' house was never the same again after Terrence left.
One night he caught me drinking on the terrace.
"Hey... Are you okay?" he asked, getting a drink too. "Of course, I just miss Rence a lot." I said looking at the stars.
"Yeah, I miss him too. This house was empty without him. But cheer up, we'll still see him, I heared Steph is having a fashion show in Paris next month for 2 weeks, so that gave us chance to spend the week with Terrence again. Maybe we can go to Disney Land then or something. What do you think?" He said smiling at me.
"That's good. Disney Land's great. I'm sure Rence will like it a lot there." I said, feeling sad and happy at the same time. "Hey, why are you sad? Don't worry alright? We'll see him soon, you're too impatient." he said with a laugh.
"No I'm leaving the day after tomorrow already. I'm gonna visit my parents and brother in the States..." I said facing him, he kinda look shocked and confused, "I decided its time that I talk to them, and understand them. I wanted my life to be okay. I wanted to start a new life with them. I wanted to love them and be with them because I don't want to live in hate anymore, I realized everything when I was here with you and Terrence. I realized I wanted to have a happy family too. So I decided to leave and be with them." I said holding his hands. "But..." he then said, " Ssshh, I'm not done yet. I really wanted to say a lot of thank you's to you. You don't know how much you helped me. Thank you for letting me stay here Travis. Thank you for cheering me up. Thank you for accepting a lost little girl like me. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things. Thank you for every little and big thing. I'm so grateful to have you in my messy life my Travis." I said and gave him a tight hug, tears flowing n my eyes.
He hugged me back. "You don't need say thank you cute little sister. I did all that because I love you and I wanted you to be happy always. I was once like you, you know that right?. Lost and confused, but everything changed when my Dad died. I have to take responsibility for everything. I was still young and enjoying teenage life at that time, but you're one of the people who told me I could do it, that I should do it for my Mom, for my son. I become who I am now, because of you. So you shouldn't be saying thank you. I should be the one doing that. Thank you my Francine. You are one of my angels. And don't forget that you are my baby sister not forever, but for always."
When I saw Terrence early on the beach, I felt really comfortable with him already. Because I felt his warmth. The warm he and Travis have.
I remember the first time he told me about Terrence, I was shocked but it was fine with me. We've just known each other then for more than a year at that time, but Iwas surprised that he trust me that much to reveal his deepest secret that he kept for a long time to his mom.
And that was the start of everything. I began to really trust him too, became more close with him.
It was in the 3rd year of our friendship that I felt in love with him actually. And it hurts me knowing we cant be together. Even if we live at the same place because he have a responsibility already. Terrence.
It was Christmas eve, 7 years ago.
He called me "Hey cute! Merry Christmas!" "Likewise big brother" I answered giggling. I was kinda drunk. "Hey, you're drunk!! I'll tell your mom your'e drinking again!" He said teasing me.
"Go ahead you alcohol addict yourself" I dare. "As if they would care... and besides it's Christmas eve
for crying out loud!"
"Fine, fine, but just this once, okay? I'm a guy, and you're a girl, its not good for girls to drink."
"Fine, so how are things going? You havin fun there?" I asked. "Sure am!" he answered, with a laugh then I heard a girl talking on the background.
"Yeah wait, babe.. just a minute" I heared him say. "Hm hello cute? You still there?" he asked. "Aye" I answered. "Sorry, but I have a hot date tonight. Ya know. Tell you about it some other time arayt? Have a merry Christmas my cutie, love yah" He said and hangs up. "Love you too..." I whispered too late.
I've known Travis for almost 3 years now, and I know he treats his girlfriends like clothes, have to be new always. He's born playboy, he's like a demon to girls, will provoke you, promise you heaven, but leave you in hell. That's one of the reasons I'm grateful that I am his friend, his little sister, because he will never treat me like his girls, I have no expiration. Somehow I feel more special, more loved. But only as his sister. and sometimes its not enough for me. Though I know he would never see me that way, and that hurts.
After a week.
"Cute?" He texted me. after a week of not communicating with me. I expected that already. He's like that when he have a new girl. He will treat the girl like his queen for a week, then leave her crying and heartbroken. That's the expiration of a girl for him, a week.
Again, I feel happy that I'm not one of his girls, because we've been friends for almost 3 years now.
Though sometimes I think of giving up that 3 years for a week in his arms.
I know he misses me, so I called him immediately.
"Yes my Travis?" I said when he answered his phone. He laughed, and the sound made butterflies in my stomach. "Nothing. I miss you ya know, hows life? I'm with Terrence now by the way."
"Oh" I was kinda shocked and happy for him. "Everything's fine, and still the same, mom and dad still don't care that I am still existing. And oh, give Terrence a hug for me." I said. He laughed again. then answered, "Oh sure, but hug his daddy first.." He said teasing me again. I giggled like an idiot "Huh, you wish."
We talked about a lot of things that day. He mentioned about the girl last Christmas eve. He said the girl was a spoiled brat and always want to go shopping, that's why he left her.
He mentioned about 2 new girls he's interested with. I listen and answered on everything, but disagree most of the time. We are always like that, always disagreeing with each others idea or opinions. And that's what made us closer actually.
Back in the real world.
Travis hotel room
"Hey.. Travis! I didn't know you're here! Oh my goodness.." I said then gave him a hug and a kiss on both cheek.
"Yeah, it was nice to see you here! Why are you here anyway? Hmp. I thought you hate the ocean." he asked, while dragging me to the sofa, holding my hand. Just like the old times.
"I'm on a vacation with my brother and cousin, remember Krisha? Oh well, yeah I still dislike the water, long story. " I answered, looking in his eyes.
"Okay. I have time, tell me... come on. Were best friends!" He said tickling me. I giggled.
"Stop that! Maybe some other time... tomorrow maybe, I really have to go now." I said standing up. he didn't let go of my hand.
"But we just saw each other! And besides didn't you miss me? Or even your favorite Terrence? Remember, he used to follow you around all the time when you use to live with us!" He said showing his puppy eyes. His expertise on pleasing women.
I laugh "You cute little thing, don't be so immature, of course I miss you both a lot! But my brother must be looking for me already." Then Terrence step out in the living room again, with a shy smile, "So it was you! You don't look like my first crush. You are my first crush!" he said walking towards me. "Ate sweetie, please don't leave yet. I miss you so much, dad too. He mentions you a lot."
I smiled naughtily looking at Travis. "Really?" He nod like a small kid. "I miss you too darling but now is not the right time. We'll still see each other, I promise. We're here for a vacation too, for a week! Isn't that long?" He nod and hug me! "Yehey!" he said. "You'll play with me again!!"
"What about we start that bond now?" Travis said. "We can meet your bro and cousin now, the more the merrier right? Then we should go to dinner all together! That would be fun, right Terrence?"
"Oh... I dunno..." I said.
"Yes! Yes! Please sweet one? Please please please????" Rence said jumping out and down.
"Alright then" I said rolling my eyes. Travis is smiling at me and I gave him a warning look. "If it wasn't for you my little Terrence..." I said pinching him.
We headed all back in my room. Terrence asking a lot of questions about me. Whats my job, where do I live, can he visit me? ... do i have a boyfriend...
I kinda froze to that before I answered, I look at Travis first, he doesn't seem to notice so I just chatted away again.
We went to a fancy resto for dinner, Travis' idea. His treat, oh well.
Terrence and Gab, my brother, seem to like each other already, because of the famous avatar and all the games they have in their psp's. Unsurprisingly, Krisha likes Rence a lot too, he find him very adorable, Rence find Krisha cute too, that's why he declared that krisha is his crush already.
They decided to go out on the beach to play after eating dinner, and that left me and Travis alone.
He asked me if I wanted to take a walk, I said yes.
We walk near the ocean, where I walked earlier before seeing Terrence, again he hold my hand. "So... What's the problem?" he asked.
I knew it. i couldn't hide anything from him, he always sees through me "its Krisha... she cant have a... baby. There's something wrong." I answered looking at him. "I wanted to help her, to make everything okay for her, but I don't know how... I feel so stupid and useless" I said, tears starting to form in my eyes. "It hurts me to see her in pain. All my life she fix everything for me, but now... she's the one in need, and I cant even help her!" Travis hugged me, telling me to calm down, "Ssshhh, dont cry. Its not your fault. everything will be ok, I promise."
"But there's no way... she already consulted the doctors, its her. She has the problem." I said looking up at him. He wipe my tears. "Then maybe she's not meant to have kids. Its harsh but hat's life dear. We cant have everything we want in this life, and thats the truth."
"But.. no! You can't say that! I know there's a solution! Why her of all the bad people in this world? she's so nice and kind... all she wanted is a baby! No no... you're wrong! Everything has a solution. Its not meant to be like this. I'll find a way, I promise..." I said wiping my tears, and walked away.
he chased me. "Wait up!" he shouted holding my hand again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell that, but its the truth you should accept it my Francy" He said looking straight into my eyes. "We are adults now, we are not living in fantasies anymore, everything doesn't have a solution, that's the truth. Sometimes we just got to accept everything life has to give to us."
"I know... I'm sorry too. But I just cant accept that now. I have to do something. O owe my life to her."
"Okay then. I'll help you. I promise. But please calm down now. We should get back now, its getting late... lets go."
We got back in our room late that we already saw the three of them sleeping in the big sofa together.
Gab heard us, and so he got up and go to his bed.
I walk near Krisha and Rence. Rence look so peaceful and beautiful sleeping. like an angel. Krisha looks so pretty and peaceful too, but theres a trace of sadness and tiredness.
"I'm sorry couz. Don't worry, I will do everything to make you happy again. Now, I will be the one who will look after you. I love you so much" I whispered and kissed her on the cheek. She then woke up, and I turn around to hide my tears to her. "Cousin? Is taht you? Oh, I'm sorry, we fell asleep." she said standing up. "It was tiring to play with this hyper kid here, but it was so much fun." She said with a big smile then she kissed Terrence and went to the her bed..
And I knew at that moment that she really wanted a child.
"Its okay" Travis said, "I'll just carry him, it happens all the time" he then lift Terrence in his arms and said goodbye, kissing me on the forehead.
"Don't worry okay? I'm here, I'll look after you. We're best-friends for always right? Now, get a nice sleep my cutie."